So Very Obsessed
by LoveforPenandDerek
Summary: Prentiss and Reid.Emily can't stop herself from wanting Reid. But what does he want?
1. Chapter 1

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**So Very Obsessed**

Spencer and Emily

Chapter One

May 2010

"So when did you two break up?" she asked, knowing she was in dangerous territory but it made her feel alive to be out here on the edge.

Still she was seriously risking his wrath today because she had broken one of the BAU rules.

The only way she had known he was seeing someone was from profiling him. And the only way she knew it was over was from the same. (He always texted his girlfriend when a case was over. He started to ignore her calls when things got rocky. He never was up for weekend plans for six months but all of the sudden he has no plans again. He let his hair and facial hair grow because she liked it. Now she's out of his life and his hair is chopped short, his face shaved clean once again. Things like that. A thousand things she sees everyday that tell her what he won't tell her.)

Today Reid had ignored another call during lunch. He had scowled at his phone, obviously annoyed and wanting this woman to realize it was over. That intrigued Emily. She would love to know the story behind who he had met, fell for, dated, and why they didn't work. She'd love to know what kind of woman got so close to Reid.

She'd like to just know Reid better by knowing his secrets.

So when they are walking back to the two SUVs that the team uses she hangs back so they are the only ones on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, as he is fidgeting with cleaning his glasses, and asks a question she doubts he will answer.

But if he does answer it could be a very good thing. So she tries. Because she is driven to try and the words escape her mouth this time before she can push them back.

Reid shoots her a squinty eyed look that tells her he can't believe she just said that. And also feigns cluelessness. "What's that?"

"Its over with your latest girlfriend. I was wondering what happened. If you wanted to talk-"

"This is not a conversation I will have with you, Prentiss," he told he in a very controlled voice and then stiffly walked down the sidewalk, through the parking lot, and into one of the SUVs.

Emily Prentiss was slowly being driven crazy by the things Spencer Reid didn't say out loud. This was far from a new phenomenon for her. Ever since they had met it seemed that there was always something left unsaid between them.

It was not for lack of trying on her part. She often would try to engage him in conversation but he was very far from an open book. She had never met a man more private than him, actually. She quickly learned to not delve into certain off limits area but the only time she really felt satisfied with their interactions is when it all got to be too much for her- her concern, her need to help him in some small way, her worry over him- and she just pushed and pushed him till he opened up, even in the smallest of ways.

But over the years she didn't push nearly enough and their truly meaningful conversations got further and further between. That was because when they first met she thought there was a chance this elusive man could break down his walls and connect with her on a deeper level- maybe just friendship, sadly she craved so much from him but would be willing to settle for so little.

She just wanted more.

Of course time did what time always did. Made feelings ebb and flow. Sometimes she would try and push down that usual ache in her for a moment each work day where it felt like Reid really saw her as a person, okay fine a _woman_, who was his friend and when he revealed a flash of the man he kept carefully hidden from the world.

Sometimes she would be the exact opposite. She'd try hard to take them to someplace new and different in their friendship. Sometimes she was just tired of thinking about Reid but then she'd see him again- the whole team practically breathed each other's breaths, that is how closely they lived during cases- and he'd be creeping through her mind like a virus all over again.

She had her own Dr. Reid obsession going. Even if she didn't want to. And she didn't want to anymore. She was truly sick of it. She wanted to stop reaching for something she would never get. Stop having her hand slapped back. Stop living on tiny moments that made her whole month- should he open up about anything personal to her.

She didn't blame him in the least for not wanting a closer friendship with her. And how could she blame him for not being as attracted to her as she was him? That wasn't a choice. It was just simple biology.

She blamed herself. There had to be a way to get her mind under control. Some way to make the other men she met be as intriguing as Reid. There was a long string of men she pushed away: John Cooley, Mick Rawson, guys at the bar, guys in Atlantic City, guys Morgan knew in ATF, guys Will knew from his all male book club, guys Rossi went hunting with. She went on dates but always found these men not quite intoxicating enough. She would rant about them. Kinda even hate them for their lacking qualities when they were alright guys really if she wasn't comparing them to someone else. There had to be a way to stop torturing herself like this day after day, month after month, year after year.

She needed to just get over Reid already. Over wanting more from their friendship. It was time to accept this was as good as its gonna get.

XXXXXXXXX

Reid was stuck deep in his thoughts as the SUV rolled down the expressway and back to the police station in Indianapolis. He didn't like that Emily had tried to invade his privacy.

It was embarrassing why things didn't work out with Samantha. He had tried with her. More than he ever tried with women in the past. For so many years he let his fears keep him from calling a woman, or reaching out and pulling her in for a kiss, or believing she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. The last couple of years he had been trying to just ignore the fear and make the call, kiss the girl, believe in her desire and act on his.

He did all that with Samantha from last summer to this spring but it wasn't enough.

He couldn't give her what she wanted. Couldn't be open enough. Make the kind of promises she needed: mainly that they had a future together that would include kids. He couldn't let her deep enough inside even though he tried with all he had to do it. For as right as it felt when they made love there was a greater intimacy that was lacking.

Maybe he just couldn't be that raw with any lover. Couldn't cry with her. Couldn't tell her his fears. Couldn't lose complete control.

How could he tell that to Emily or to anyone? How could he explain to Morgan why Reid felt it was hopeless to date? Why he had this deficiency that was as self defeating prophecy and would make every relationship fail in the end. How did he say that aloud?

So he didn't. A lot of times he didn't say aloud what he was feeling. Even though when he did it made things better. But still something in him rebelled against being that open with his friends.

He feared not their judgements as much as he feared their pity. It wasn't that he didn't want to share himself with the people he loved most. It was that he didn't want them to know a truth he found ugly but since that was his truth he couldn't share himself with them because he couldn't have them knowing it.

It was a vicious cycle. He didn't know how it'd ever be broken. He felt bad for snapping at Emily. Over the years she always stepped up to try and mean as much to Reid as Morgan, Garcia, JJ, Hotch. The people who came before her and knew him better. She tried to show she cared. She reached out a hand of friendship.

But when he felt too exposed- too wide open- he slapped that hand away. Things were easy when they were just joking around: playing chess or poker, talking about TV and movies he had never seen, or books she had never read. In those moments he did feel like they connected.

Reid was way too smart for his own good because he couldn't lie to himself and say that those kind of moments would ever be enough to make Emily feel like they were best friends. She'd always feel like the new girl in his life, even as they got closer and closer slowly over the time she worked there. It was a superficial closeness and it was hard fought for by her.

He owed her more. But he didn't know how to give it.


	2. Chapter 2

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So Very Obsessed

Spencer and Emily

Chapter Two

June 2010

Time went by again. They got consumed with cases. Emily gave in and went on more dates with Mick. She even took him to bed. But asked him to not spend the night. That was awkward. He called a few more times, came by her desk when he was in town, but it was clear that it was over. She had tried again and failed again.

They caught a case that seemed to affect JJ more than usual. Hotch noticed and kept JJ with him in the field. Morgan and Rossi were interviewing a woman who had been stalked, and since that was more their forte than hers Emily was left back at the station with Reid.

Looking at him she felt such the need to tell him things. Hear him say things to her. Just share her thoughts on what she did last weekend. What she was going to do the next weekend.

Ask if he was lonely now that his ex-girlfriend was gone. Sometimes she got so lonely and she always sensed the same kind of loneliness in him. It was one of the first things she truly felt connected them- both lonely, loner nerds. She hid it better than him but deep down she felt he was most like her out of everyone else she knew.

"Do you ever think about it?" she asked, in a truly curious voice, breaking the silence in the room.

"What?"

"Why people get obsessed with other people."

"Obsession is all about anxiety and fear. Not wanting to end up alone or rejected the person focuses on the object of their obsession to a destructive amount until the thoughts became patterns in their brain that repeat on an endless loop and feel like an integral part of what is keeping them alive. The obsession, thinking of this other person or thing, becomes as important to the afflicted as breathing."

"Isn't love sort of an obsession?"

"Sort of, yeah, but it depends on if it is a healthy relationship or not. Its natural to feel consumed for a lover in the early stages of a romance but for that to lessen as time goes on even as the bond deepens. Also, in healthy relationships the other person is allowed to maintain their autonomy and personal sense of self outside of the relationship. Whereas in unhealthy ones-"

Her will power snapped. She was so sick of not being close to him. Of trying to make other men into Reid when they couldn't be and she couldn't tell them why she almost felt sick thinking of their hands on her. The wrong hands.

She just snapped. It happened every day in the world-someone snapping, that is- and that day it happened to Emily Prentiss.

Reaching up she cupped Reid's face and brought her mouth to his, ignoring how his body stiffened and the swift shocked intake of breath that he sucked in, the way he slightly pulled back. She ignored all his physical indications he didn't want this because Reid would, of course, always prefer to keep life safe, quiet and unmessy.

His life of books. The life he was loathe to let too many people inside of no matter if they begged. He might want them nearer but it was easier not to risk it so most times he didn't.

But rare times he did. And those people- Gideon, Elle, Lila, Austin, Morgan, Garcia, JJ, his last girlfriend perhaps, and his childhood friend Ethan- those people Emily found herself jealous over.

They got into the place she wanted to be. They got to see a side of Reid that Emily only glimpsed. They got to hear confessions she would cheer to know.

So today she took something for herself. One kiss. She took it because she wanted to know him better. To feel him against her. To have something to remember.

She took it because she was going crazy with wanting more and, even if he yelled at her afterwards, she needed relief from the aching want that wouldn't end, even years later.

Maybe this one kiss would end the want. This kiss that lasted the briefest of seconds and yet was so soft, tender, emotional and soothing. Her heart was in her throat when she pulled back, glad he hadn't broken away from her but had actually slid just a little closer, his hands going to both her upper arms.

Emily looked up and into Spencer's eyes. "Don't freak out."

He furrowed his brow and she knew she had said the exact wrong thing. "Why would I freak out?"

Her eyes were locked on him his while his seemed to be concentrating on her lips. "Because you're mad I did that?"

He swallowed and was silent.

She barreled on, all to aware they were still very near to each other, "I did that because I think about it."

"Kissing me?"

"Well, yeah, duh, but I also think about not being so lonely anymore."

Just then a cop walked in. Emily and Spencer moved away from each other. Clearing their throats and fidgeting to smooth out minute wrinkles in their clothes they spoke to the man, and soon they were on the laptop to Penelope, the case was gearing back up again.

They slipped into work mode and didn't talk about the kiss anymore that day.

XXXXXXXXX

She was interested in him on a level he didn't know before. He thought she wanted a deeper friendship, and though that was part of it, Spencer Reid was surprised to realize that Emily was thinking of him in terms beyond friendship.

How long had that been going through her mind? His friends called him oblivious sometimes. Had this been one of those times? He previously had seen things in her behavior but he didn't equate those things to sexual desire for him.

Now his mind was replaying the whole time he had known her and seeing things differently- but he couldn't be sure what meant something and what didn't. When it came to unsubs he knew what the littlest quirk in their behavior indicated but when it came to his lovers he was too close to the situation. He often didn't know exactly what they were thinking and what they wanted.

Samantha made that easy. She had been a talker. She told him everything that entered her head. To the point where he just wanted her to shut up because he realized he couldn't give her any of the things she wanted. He didn't know if he even wanted to get married and have kids. The thought kinda left him cold and worried. But he knew for sure he did not want that with her. He had tried to please her though. Tried and failed. He was glad he tried. It showed him that he could be in a relationship that lasted a while. It just needed to be with the right person and he needed to figure out what he wanted for his life so that he could tell his partner.

He could analyze his relationship foibles in the grander scheme of things, like a science equation, but when it came right down to it relationships were not clean and clear that way. They were messy and confusing.

Like this thing with Emily. This kiss.

He was surprised it had happened at all and also surprised about where it happened- during work hours in a coastal town in Maine. It seemed to come out of no where but her words afterwards revealed that to be most untrue.

She thought of kissing him. Of not being lonely. Of him taking away her loneliness. What would make her have faith like that in him?

Could he do that? Did he even want to try?

He found himself touching his lips later that day when he was reading over a diary the unsub had left behind at his old apartment, which they raided that afternoon after the kiss. His thumb brushed his bottom lip, mimicking the feel of when it was Emily's mouth against his.

It could just be a one time thing. That was, clearly, up to him. To leave it where it stands now would certainly keep him from being dragged through emotions he didn't know if he could handle. Situations at work that could get violate. Being that open and raw with her might be too much for him and he might shut down.

An image of them laying in bed together, white sheets tangled around sweat slicked, flushed bodies, and his head rested against her chest as she stroked his hair, invaded his mind just then. He sat up straight very quickly.

Morgan asked "What's up, kid? You find something we can use?"

"No, not yet. I was just thinking about something I...read. Hmmm." He looked at the diary again, forcing himself to focus on it.

That had to be rule one, if he did get involved with Emily, during work hours they had to be all about work. Was he really...actually...considering going there? Letting her know him that way. Learning about her in different ways. More than just how she liked to be kissed or what she looked like without her clothes on- all thrilling thoughts indeed- but knowing more about how she related with her mother, and what she saw for her future when it came to kids, and where she might like to vacation if they had more than three days off in a row.

Knowing how to get her to smile when she felt like crying. Knowing more than what he picked up just by being a profiler about her food preferences, personal grooming habits, and hobbies.

Knowing her as a lover. Knowing her as a best friend. Knowing her in the ways that would ease her loneliness.

Did he want to step up and be the man who loved Emily?

Later on the plane, as they flew home, he found himself pretending to be engrossed in a book to avoid staring at her and thinking too hard about questions that were darting through his mind. He had noticed that she kept looking at him, as she sat across from him.

Then she would talk to JJ some more. Look out the window. Cross and uncross her legs. Tap her fingers. Look at Reid again.

JJ got up to go to the bathroom.

After another few minutes Reid put down his book. "Do you know what Pearl S. Buck said about loneliness?" He paused before saying the quote "The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if he does not reach out for another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no inspiration."

"So will that be you?"

"I don't know. I don't want it to be. But I'm not sure its in my power to change who I have been into who I would like to be. I'm not even sure who I would like to be, to be honest."

She leaned forward and dropped her voice "Reid, the easiest thing in the world would be to forget what happened today but I'm so sick of taking the easy way out when it comes to this kind of thing."

Her eyes searched his before she settled back in her seat once again.

There was a long silence. Reid saw JJ coming back from the bathroom. He said to Emily, his voice low and steady, "I'm not sure what to say to you right now except: You have me thinking."

He went back to reading his book but not before catching the way her deep, dark brown eyes lightened with hopefulness.


	3. Chapter 3

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So Very Obsessed

Spencer and Emily

Chapter Three

June 2010

She did her best to push Reid- and thought of their kiss- from her mind in her days off after the case up in Maine. But when she went jogging- as every foot hit the ground- her mind inevitably bombarded her with thoughts, questions, worries and memories. But as quick as they came she pushed them away.

It would do Emily no good to obsess over what he was going to do next- if anything at all. She had to focus on her own life and making her days off productive and not consumed with thinking about him.

So that is just what she did. All day long she kept herself busy with exercising, cleaning, shopping and hanging out with friends. And it worked somewhat. As the days went on the thoughts of him were less consuming.

But nothing worked in that awful time between when she lay down in bed and when she fell asleep. During that witching hour her mind would drift to him and there was nothing to do to keep it distracted. Heat would spread and pool in her body.

And she hated Dr. Spencer Reid. There was so much to hate about him. When he had her there aching for his touch, for his attention, for him to just give a damn about her in a more meaningful way and not just think about giving a damn (did he really have to think so freaking much?)

She hated him, yes, because she was afraid he would not love her back. And afraid that since she had kissed him she had lost any hope of breaking her obsession over him.

Maybe she should ask Hotch to get her a different desk at work. That would be a good first step. A desk that did not face his. Yep. That is just what she would do on Monday.

With that rather ridiculous resolve in her mind she fall into a restless sleep, tossing and turning and reaching for a man who wasn't there and probably wasn't at all tossing and turning or reaching for her.

XXXXXXXXXX

Spencer walked a lot that weekend.

He walked around his apartment, running his fingers along the spines of books on his floor to ceiling bookcases, and he walked around his neighborhood, hitting all his normal haunts like the coffee shop, library and park. He walked sometimes for hours. Lost in thoughts.

Thoughts about his past. He tried to decipher himself. He thought too much and made his head hurt. He stared at his cell phone too much too. Thinking about calling Emily. Or calling Morgan and confessing to this turn of events. He thought of calling Ethan and asking him if he thought Reid was capable of a healthy relationship. As a fellow genius who was blunt with his words Reid trusted his old friend implicitly. Ethan was smart enough to know the answer to almost any question- yet not as smart as Reid- but somehow Reid knew this answer was not going to come from someone else's opinion on him. It had to come from within himself.

To pursue Emily romantically, even in the slightest of ways, would be a making her a promise that he would open himself completely to her in ways he hadn't others. She was not just a woman he happened to meet and happened to trip into dating. She was his good friend. She was someone who was lonely and wanted him to take that ache away. That was asking for more than casual.

Neither could know if it would work but he couldn't start something unless he felt that he was able, if it did go well, to finish it. Meaning to stay open with her and keep moving forward. Not hit a wall like he had with his last girlfriend where she wanted him to promise her things that he couldn't imagine sharing with her. He didn't want to let Emily down in the way he had Samantha.

No matter how far he and Emily may go, one date or years together, it would not be casual because that would mean it was unimportant. That it could be taken or left behind, without it mattering much either way.

But he couldn't look at it that way- not with Emily.

He felt a protectiveness over her now. As if she asked him to save her and if he took her up on her offer he had to believe he had that ability. That he would not be a disappointment to her.

Years ago he feared not being able to please a woman in bed. When he proved to himself he could the fear became of first dates. Those awkward, strange, furtive forays into companionship. After he mastered first dates his fear shifted to relationships- to marriage, to being a partner that fulfilled the needs of another day in and out, to being a father or never being a father.

He was further along than maybe most thought. But he didn't feel caught up to his contemporaries when it came to understanding the male and female dynamic in a personal way. And if he was still so lacking...how could he be enough for Emily?

As their days off went by one thing became increasing clear: Spencer Reid did want to be enough for her.

He did want her. He did like that kiss. It intrigued him. Thinking back he could see maybe she had feelings for him for quite a while, though they could have grown stronger just recently. He would like an answer to that question. How long had she wanted him? How badly did she long for him?

He wanted to cover her with his body, his warmth and his security, and make her feel safe for a while. It was just about believing that he could keep maturing into someone who was good enough for her. Open enough with her. Brave enough for this.

It was a matter of courage and faith. Weightless as both those things are they have the power to change lives. They could change him, if he could harness them within himself.

If he could be courageous for Emily. If he could take a leap of faith for them. He wanted to. She wanted him to.

Surprisingly it was just that simple, in the end. He didn't resolve all the issues from his childhood or decide all the questions of his future. But he found that he was ready to go there with Emily...maybe together they would figure this out, figure him out, figure her out.

All because of a kiss. Is there anything more magical than falling in love? How it transforms a man. Spencer Reid felt wholly different on the last night they had off. Like he had fought a prize fight with himself and won.

Now it was time to go to Emily, pull her close, and let the loneliness seep away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

After he knocked on her door, waited for her to walk up to it and look through the peep hole, something happened that made him have the thought:_ I should have called first_.

He heard her let out a strangled groan and say "Oh, crap," then trip over something and say "Ouch! Shit!"

"Emily?" Of course he knew it was her but it seemed like the thing to say. Better than: _I hear you in there so open up._

"Reid! What the hell? You can't call first?"

"Sorry."

She let out a growl of frustration and opened the door. The way she was standing revealed she had stubbed her toe. Looking down he could see that she had an umbrella holder that was tipped over. Her feet were bare. Her toenails painted red.

His eyes moved back up her body. She was wearing ratty pink sweat pants, the type that invariably had a word written on the butt, and a white tank top. Her hair was in a messy pony tail and the look on her face was somewhere between fuming and thunderous.

He winced and said "I can wait for you to change," which wasn't the thing she wanted to hear because she gave him a very narrowed eyed look that said he should speak fast before he was verbally smacked down. "Or not. You look great." He gave her a half smile as he nervously rocked on his heels. "So, yeah, can I come in then? Or should we figure things out right here in the hall?"

Her eyes widened some, as if her head was finally able to get past the fact she was dressed in grubby work out clothes and settle onto the reason that Spencer was standing in front of her.

She cried "Yeah! Sure! Come on in. Watch the umbrellas. I'll get those later."

He walked inside and looked around. "You painted."

The whole team had been there many times before. Emily liked to have wine and cheese parties but since Morgan and Garcia declared that boring they turned into wine, cheese and reality TV programs where everyone picked their contestant who they believed would get kicked off that week when the show started. Being profilers made the game even more interesting as some of them believed themselves to have the inside track on who would behave in what ways during the episode. But JJ, the one who wasn't even a profiler, usually won. Garcia usually lost-due to picking the guy she found cutest instead of best suited to win.

"Yep. It was time for a change."

"Green?"

"Moss and what's wrong with it?"

"Nothing. Its very mossy."

She rolled her eyes. "Would you like a drink?"

"Water would be fine."

"And I'll have wine."

They went into the kitchen. Since she walked in front of him he found out that her sweats did, in fact, have something written on the back of them: BCBG. He wondered what that might be code for.

She poured them drinks. He could tell she was very nervous. He oddly was not as nervous. Of course he knew what he came there to say and that she wanted to hear it whereas she had no idea what he might say. He could have come there to let her down easy.

He chuckled at that thought.

Though he had agonized over this he could see now that the idea of not pursuing Emily was completely ridiculous. She was an amazing woman. He had always known that. He always felt something lingering between them. Her desire for more of a friendship with from him. His weariness to be able to offer it. A push and pull that existed beneath the surface of their every interaction.

That was them working to get here. Looking back now it all seems obvious. But he didn't see it for what it was then. Not like he can now.

After he chuckled she asked "What's so funny?"

She stood there holding her wine. His glass of water was set on the kitchen counter.

"Us."

"We're funny, Reid? How so?"

"We're making things too complicated. I mean, of course, its complicated but it doesn't have to be this complicated." He moved in close to her and his voice dropped "Does it?"

He brushed a loose strand of her chestnut hair that had escaped her ponytail away from her face in a gentle lover's caress. She seemed to stop breathing. Her dark, deep brown eyes were wide as she stared into his eyes.

When she spoke she said "Just so you know, this time I'm not kissing you first."

"That's fine," he said as his mouth caught hers in a kiss much more sensual and exploring than the brief, sweet one they shared in Maine.

Right then he felt he was right where he needed to be. Emily might have known first. Spencer might have doubted he would ever know.

But when it happened for him it happened in an instant. He was kissing her, her warm and curvy body snuggling in close to his, as they tenderly learned each other's lips, tastes and tongues and suddenly he felt it all click into place.

It hadn't felt right with any woman before cause it wasn't supposed to feel right till this moment with this woman. That way- this man who some called oblivious- would be able to easily recognize the difference.

Funny how that works. Dr. Spencer Reid was glad to finally feel like he was starting to truly understand this thing called love.


	4. Chapter 4

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So Very Obsessed

Spencer and Emily

Chapter Four

June 2010

What started out as an exchange of sweet, sensual, small kisses- exploring each other gently in no big rush for anything more- changed after a minute or two into something much more torrid.

The shift happened when Emily placed the glass of wine she had been holding down on the counter. She then snuck her hand behind Spencer and started to caress his back while also drawing him tighter against her. This made a hungry growl rumble in his throat.

Spurred on by his response she tugged up his striped t-shirt and ran her hand over his bare back.

Feeling her soft, smooth fingers on his hot, flushed skin set off a quick chain reaction. He turned her, as they had both been facing sideways toward each other, and pressed her back against the counter. Bending his knees he notched himself more intimately snug against her and deepened their kiss, holding her face in his hands as he slanted his mouth, his tongue dueling with hers.

Her breasts were smashed against his chest. Her hard nipples poking roughly against her bra and shirt. Over and over they kissed-tasting and learning, lost in the feelings they were bringing to life.

It was intoxicating. All these new sensations. Sure he had felt them with other women before but not with Emily.

Never with the right woman until now and suddenly it felt natural. He wasn't hoping to please her or over thinking his actions. He knew he was pleasing her. Who couldn't be pleased by kisses like this? They were dripping with mutual pleasure, simmering with want, oozing with desire and awash in pulse thumping thrills.

He was lost in the taste and feel of her. Drowning in the emotions of knowing how well she knew him and how she wanted him still. How he was her perceived cure for loneliness.

Only when he was left without any other choice did he come up for air, panting breathlessly. He was lightheaded. Dizzy off the thrill of touching Emily.

"I have never had a kiss like that before in all my life," he said, in amazement, probably making himself sound inexperienced again but he didn't care. It was true and she should know it.

"That was more like twenty five kisses in a row but I get what you mean. Me either."

Her eyes were dancing with heat and excitement. It was almost as if actual sparks were shooting through the air between them. Now he knew what the saying_ Where there is heat, there's fire_ really meant. The thing that had been long simmering between them now had a name- heat- and what they had stumbled into was surely a blazing inferno.

His knuckles brushed her cheek. "I thought so much about this over the last few days. Even for me, a certified genius, that was too much thinking and too slow. Was the waiting bad?"

"No, only torturous,' she said with humor in her tone. "So not so bad at all."

"Oh, good," he joked back. Before leaning close for another kiss. His voice taking on a silky smoothness "So very good," he murmured before his mouth took possession of hers again.

XXXXXXXXX

It was all worth it. More than worth it actually. All the pain and stress that he had put her through. All the reaching out to him. All the failed attempts at connecting. The wondering and worrying. None of that mattered anymore.

All that mattered was the delicious taste of his mouth. The feel of his lips sipping and pressing against hers. His lithe, angular body taut against her. Making her feel adored like she had never been adored before. Worshiped. Treasured.

Yes, he was truly a genius. He knew just what she wanted. To be dominated. To be shown how wanton his desire for her was now. How it had exploded within him, around him, and now they were both surrounded by their growing lust for each other.

This was not the kind of thing any sane person could just take or leave. It was the kind of thing, what raged between them right now, that a person takes, takes, takes, all that they can get and then craves more, aches for it till it is theirs again. Till they can feel it beneath their fingertips again. Taste it on their tongue.

She already knew when he left tonight that she would still feel his touch on her skin long after he walked out her door.

That's the last thing Emily wanted to think about yet though. Spencer leaving for the night. The longing of wanting more of this. More of him pressed tight to her with one of his hands now caressing up and down the side of her and the other holding her head steady.

Reid was in complete control of their kisses, of her, of this. Finally claiming her like she ached to be claimed by him since the first day she decided he was cute and interesting, different than any other man and that was a good thing. That was the first day that she had missed him after she went home from work.

She should have kissed him long before. It was fear that held her back. The fear of having to sit in the bullpen on days when they didn't have cases and have him so close by knowing she had wanted him but he hadn't wanted her. The fear of rejection and embarrassment.

Emily should have risked that fate though because these kisses were worth suffering through that humiliation and much more. She wanted these kisses two years before. She got them now.

Already she couldn't imagine living without these kisses again. Where every other date for years now made her joke about going gay rather than going out with him again being with Spencer made her feel more like a woman. Like she had feminine power. Like she was completely herself and he was finding parts of her she had written off to being lost forever.

Better than she ever imagined it could be. That's how Emily would describe his hot, wet, steamy, deep, possessive kisses.

He picked her up and set her on the counter. Their mouths broke apart for a second, as they gasped for breath, and then her fingers were threaded in his hair, holding his head, tugging him close again as her legs wrapped around his back.

Reid kissed along her jaw, eliciting a purr from Emily, and then licked at the shell of her ear. A happy sigh escaped her lips. He nibbled her earlobe. "Jasmine," he whispered as he smelled her perfume "is part of the olive family. Made up of shrubs, vines and flowers. The flowers only open at night."

She smiled at his genius babbling and found it incredibly hot. Or maybe what was hot was how he was licking and sucking on her ear as his hand rubbed at her hip then slid around to cup her ass. She let out a soft moan and he squeezed her ass harder than she had guessed he might: firmly, showing he was in charge and he was more than capable of giving her all the pleasures she craved most tonight and every night in the future.

Throatily she moaned his name. "Spencer."

Hearing his given name fall from her lips stilled him and then his mouth was on hers, in an even wilder kiss as if calling him his first name turned him on. She'd scream if it made him kiss her like this.

Cupping her ass he stood up, lifting her off the counter, and as they kept kissing carried her toward the kitchen door way. They hit the wall and stopped to kiss more before she put her legs down to walk. Taking his hand she led him to the couch, pulled him down on top of her, and soon she was moaning in pleasure as his hand closed around her breast while his lips gave her short, tender kisses.

Her eyes were still open. He was so near that it was incredibly intimate- even with his eyes closed.

"Spencer. Spencer. Spencer," she whispered, throwing her head back, as he broke away to kiss down her throat. He moved back up and looked down and into her eyes.

"Stunning."

"Me?" she asked, even though she immediately realized that sounded silly but the way he said it was so earnest that it was hard to believe he meant her. She had been called beautiful so many times in her life by men she didn't care about and not nearly enough by ones she did.

Him calling her stunning though took her breath away.

"You know you are," he said, his tone deep and filled with heady desire.

Warmth spread through her. "If you say so."

"I do say so and I'm a provable genius." Then he started to nibble on her bottom lip, making her squirm in delight while his hand started to push up her white tank top. Her skin burned across her abs where he stroked her.

A shiver wracked her body when his lips moved down to kiss at her stomach. Her breathing was ragged. He kissed slowly upwards, his mouth ghosting a light trail over her at first and then adding pressure before going light again until she didn't know what to expect from moment to moment. Right before he would have reached her lace covered breasts he detoured to her bare arms.

He started at the top and kissed down, ending with her hand while he lay a long kiss inside her palm. Shifting he reverently kissed down the other arm. She raised her free hand and caressed his messy, wispy hair.

This is what she had been needing for so long. Reid here with her in more than just her fantasies.


	5. Chapter 5

**So Very Obsessed**

**Spencer and Emily**

**Chapter Five**

**June 2010**

Emily gently maneuvered out from underneath Spencer as he lay over her on the couch. She longed to be able to touch him so she lay on her side and then let her hand dance over his chest, on top of his striped t-shirt, let her thumb find his nipple and press against it and her mouth suck at his throat.

One of his hands buried itself into the back of her hair as he made a lustful sound.

Her fingers lightly moved down his shirt, over his abs, and then underneath his shirt. Her hand cupped the bulge in his jeans, smiling sweetly to herself at feeling him like this for the first time and knowing his hard, thick arousal was all over her. But all too quick he plucked her hand away, surprising and frustrating her, kissed the inside of her palm again and said "There is something to be said for prolonging gratification."

She grabbed his face and gave him hot, steamy kisses till he was breathless and then she gasped out her most important question. "Are we talking waiting minutes, hours or days?"

Instead of answering her he moved down and started to lick at her nipple, over her tank top that had a built in bra, and then he suck at it. A curse word flew from her lips, her back arched and she gripped his shoulders tightly. The feel of the fabric brushing her painfully aroused nubs along with the wet warm of his mouth made her squirm with pleasure.

He told her "I should warn you that I will be the one man you can never forget how amazing it felt when we were together."

"Put your money where your mouth is, good doctor."

XXXXXXX

Smirking he moved down and pulled off her sweats.

Then he kissed her stomach again and worked his way down to kiss over her thighs till he reached her knee, he licked behind her knee before moving to the inside of the other leg and doing the same, kissing up the inside of that thigh, inhaling her sweet essence as he did. His rock hard arousal made him long to sink into her but his mind wanted to make this last for centuries. If only he could.

She wore white lacy panties. He pressed a kiss over her mound.

Breathlessly she cried "Spencer, oh dear God. Ohhhh."

Kissing her inner thighs again he then licked at the center of her panties with one long, teasing stroke. She lifted her hips slightly to get more friction. He kissed back up her body and found her mouth again.

Her legs wrapped around him to meld their bodies tighter together. Him still fully dressed and her half naked now. Heat radiated off them and they were both completely breathless and flushed by now.

While kissing he gently took out her ponytail so he could fist his hands in her luxuriously soft dark hair. The idea that he was now able to touch Emily in every and any way he wanted made his blood race even hotter than it was from the kisses they were sharing. She had always just been a friend of his. Someone who challenged him but wasn't touchy feeling like Penelope or Derek. She didn't say she loved him or hug him ever.

But she had strong feelings for him. That much was clear now. She wanted his touch, his love, his devotion, his adoration, his promises, his cure for her affliction called loneliness. And he wanted to give her all that now.

Because she was Emily. Beautiful inside and out and she had always been there waiting for him to realize they could have this. Now he did. He wanted it today and tomorrow for sure. It felt unlike any other affair before.

Those- from the girls in grade school to JJ to Samantha and all the ones in between- always left him plagued with doubts. Something didn't feel quite right. He let them slip away from him and spent more time in his head, in his books, in his cases, and playing chess.

This time was wholly opposite any of those. This time he couldn't imagine tearing himself away from this woman. He didn't want time to brood and frustrate himself to no end about why he wasn't good with woman and how he'd probably end up alone.

No, Emily did not inspire that feeling in him. She inspired one of care and concern, lust and desire, hope and burgeoning love.

His tone was throaty when he breathed out "Let me make love to you."

Against his ear she teased "We've been making love since you walked through the door."

He smirked and eased himself up to his feet, reached out his hand and then pulled her up after she took his hand. He gripped her hips and pulled her against him. Her hands rose to caress his cheeks.

"Emily," he whispered her name with reverence before ghosting his lips over hers, speaking in between very short sensual kiss, his words right against her mouth "all those times you said you couldn't find a guy good enough for you, you were right. No one is worthy of you but I will do my best to cherish you always." One more gentle kiss before he asked "Give me a tour of your bedroom?"

She smiled and led him that way. He watched her sexy, lacy panty clad ass walking down the hall and felt so hard that he was lucky he could walk without too much pain as he followed her inside her bedroom. It was dark in there. She didn't bother to turn on a light.

There was a large bank of windows that provided moonlight.

Right inside the door she turned around and then pulled off her white tank top revealing her breasts to him for the first time. Reid lost his breath. Emily walked closer to him- since he was standing there in stunned silence- and started to help him out of his shirt, kissing his chest as she did so.

Pulling her head back up he kissed her with a sensual heat that he had never known with any other woman- a certain desperation that was heady and perfect in it lustiness. He whispered "Thank you for kissing me in Maine."

"Thank you for not freaking out too bad." She sucked and licked at his throat and shoulders.

They started kissing again, her walking backwards until her knees hit the bed and then she crawled onto it. Reid first took a condom out of his wallet, set it on the night stand, and then got out of the rest of his clothes, with Emily's eyes burning with heat as she watched him disrobe.

He climbed onto the bed, finding her lips once again and they shared more deep, wet, opened mouth kisses. His fingers ghosted over her stomach and then delved into the wet curls between her legs.

She arched against him. Her silky smooth body perfect in every way. He couldn't believed he had gone so long without knowing this kind of perfection existed in the world.

Kissing over her throat he worked down again before capturing the hard nub of her nipple in his mouth. Flicking across it with his tongue he soon had her whimpering, as he gently stroked between her legs. Her slick juices coated his fingers. He brought his mouth back to her and gave her a deep kiss as he sunk a finger inside of her.

Emily moaned into his mouth. He stroked slowly at first and then added another finger and sped up the pace. His thumb brushed her clit. His lips moved to nibble her ear and whisper "Being inside of you is incredible. You are incomparable to any other woman. You're the one I will never forget either."

"Spencer, oh Spencer! Ohhh, yes, yes," she cried.

She clenched around him as her orgasm hit her. He watched her in the throes of ecstacy and knew he had never seen such beauty up close in all his life. When he pulled his fingers free of her they shared another slow, tongue tangling kiss. Then he opened the condom and slid it on.

Positioning himself he looked down at her- her face was gorgeously flushed in the moonlight and she was panting breathlessly. His dick brushed her slick, wet folds and she lifted her hips to make the contact tighter.

"Emily...please look at me."

She opened her eyes and gave him a sexually satisfied smile.

He went on "How long have you wanted me?"

"So very long. Years."

Hearing that he thrust inside of her, the need to give her what she wanted for so long over taking him. Never again would he make her long for his touch like he had done all this time now.

THE END


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